Osteo Necrosis of the Jaw

I am a sensitive person, physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically.  I can feel a 1 degree change in indoor temperature. I don't wear clothes with tags.   No wool.  Ever.  I am allergic to virtually all animals, foods, trees, grasses, dusts, scents, etc.  Always have been.

When I was younger, I would feel things in my body, Google them, make an appointment with a doctor, spend a sleepless night planning my end of life,  then learn from my doctor that I did not have any serious affliction. 

Beginning in November 2021, everything changed.  Since then, most everything I fear actually warrants fear.  The pain in my back is dreadful but at least it's not cancer.   It's cancer.  The type of Myeloma I have can't be high risk.  It's high risk.  At least I'm not neutropenic.  Of course I am. Hypogammaglobulenemia? Yes. At least I don't have Osteo Necrosis of the Jaw.  

You don't need to be a student of Latin to get it, yes, it means bone death.  Jaw bone death to be precise.  I couldn't imagine that this could get worse.  

When you feel bad about problems that you can fix, like your sink that is clogged, your coffee maker is broken, your Uber that is late or your rainy day began without an umbrella, Google Osteo Necrosis of the Jaw.

When I was first diagnosed with Myeloma, I remember walking down the main street in my town and looking at everyone around me.  How lucky they are not to be sick.  Not to have to worry about the side effects of the medicines that they are taking.  How lucky they are to be healthy and to feel the sun and the beauty of this day without feeling like there was a problem that might change their life dramatically.  I was not envious or jealous at all.  I felt sad that I had been them a week ago and I did not realize how lucky I was.  

I will not complain here further as I don't want to pass along negative energy, sad energy, my energy.  

I just ask a favor.   Please enjoy everything in this day.  Enjoy the sun. The rain.  Enjoy your tea.  Enjoy your friends, work colleagues, the fact that you have health insurance.   Enjoy your children if you have them, your other family or friends if you don't.   Enjoy doing laundry and watering your plants and putting your children's shoes away.  These are the simple privileges of a healthy life.  💜

healingmyeloma@gmail.com

POSTSCRIPT - I had oral surgery where what was left of my tooth was taken out in pieces.  Although I have a gaping hole in my jaw, it will not be clear whether I have osteo necrosis for another few months.  I apologize for the fear that may be unwarranted.  

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