Johnny

It is still November 1st.  I have decided how I am going to celebrate the fact that I am still alive after my diagnosis four years ago today.  I have decided to start swimming again.  

Water soothes and heals me.  It calms me.  Long before I understood that many of us feel soothed in water because of its similarity to our amniotic chapter, I loved swimming.  I actually learned to swim about the same time that I learned to walk.  I remember as a two year old having someone hold my head in their hands as I lay on my back and kicked in the water.  This is how I learned to swim.  I was scared to death, by the way, at that time, but once I learned to swim without assistance, I found a great lifelong love.  

My brothers and I swam for our country club as early as they would have us (age 6).  Fueled by frozen Snickers, we swam double sessions every day in a huge pool with the diamonds of July sun dancing on them.  It was so much fun.  My brothers were very funny and we laughed constantly.  The other kids on the team were a lot of fun, too.  The meets were just thrilling.  We ate 'raw jello' (yes, essentially flavored sugar) right before we swam for extra energy.  Blackberry was my favorite.  

Then came high school swim team.  My brothers were great swimmers, I was not. I got the most improved award my senior year.  I did not care that I was not great.  I loved practice so much.  It made me feel happy, it made me feel relaxed and I was excited to cheer on the girls on my team who actually were good. 

Long winded way of saying that the pool, a pool, any pool, is my happy place.   Today I decided to join the YMCA which is quite close to where I live. Everyone is so nice there.  I slowly walked into the pool at 2 30.  I could hear the lights.  No one in the pool room except  the lifeguard and me. 

I was beginning from the beginning.  I kicked and walked and enjoyed feeling quasi weightless.  I was in the old, original mosaic "alumni" pool that reminded me so much of the little old pool in Westport where I learned to swim and where I splashed around every Friday night with my brothers and my parents.  I wonder if anyone was still alive who remembered that little gem of a pool. 

I said hello to the 20 something sturdy looking lifeguard.  I told him that I loved this little pool.  I told him that it reminded me of the old pool in Westport.  His name was Johnny.  He grew up in Westport, too.  He remembered that same pool.  We swapped stories of two different generations of kids who had gone to Staples, the local high school.   He ran cross country.  Laddie Lawrence was his coach.  The face of a young Laddie Lawrence came to mind immediately.  

Johnny still lives in Westport, in a lovely little place close enough to the beach that he can walk there on a nice day.  He was one of three brothers.  

Then he proceeded to tell me a story that made me realize that maybe not enough people in the pool had come down and spoken with Johnny. 

"My mother was hit by a drunk driver when she was 18 and was paralyzed from the waist down.   After she met my father she found out that she was pregnant.  With triplets.  She said that there was no way she could carry triplets.  The doctor told her that it might be her only chance to have children.  She decided to give the pregnancy a try." 

"At Staples, there is this annual event called the Grim Reaper where people tell stories about their experiences with drunk drivers.  When I was a senior, my mom was the featured speaker and she told her story of how she was paralyzed by a drunk driver.  How she almost died but didn't.  How she eventually had three sons against all odds.  People listening to her were crying." 

"People started coming to me and asking, 'Is that your mom? You re one of the triplets!' they said to me.   No one knew why I was shy and quiet in HS.  Life at home wasn't always easy.  I was bullied at Staples and Principal Morgan never did anything about it.  When people figured out why I was always so quiet, they apologized for treating me so badly." 

This poor guy.  What a tough childhood experience he must have had.  We never know what others are enduring.   

His shift was over.  I told him how much I enjoyed speaking with him and maybe I would see him again at the pool.  

I'm glad I went to the pool today. 

healingmyeloma@gmail.com

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