Living with Multiple Myeloma

Cancer is awful.  It is usually a surprise, often a shock, it turns one's life upside down immediately.   The only way that one can be saved is by taking big, strong, toxic, scary medicine.  Constantly.  Those commercials with people around an outdoor grill that have four minute disclaimers claiming that your head might roll off in the middle of the street if you take this drug.  Those drugs.   You find out who your friends are when you go through this.  I'm so grateful for the beautiful (re-) discoveries that I have made during this time.  So many kind and beautiful people.  So many caring individuals with a lot of love in their hearts.  A little unsolicited advice... IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS REALLY SICK AND YOU ARE NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY I have learned about a few people around me and around the country who are so much sicker than I am and it is for them that I am writing.  It is hard to know what to say.   Levity or avoiding...

First chemo treatment since pneumonia today.  Felt like I was going to my execution.   I was scared of the strong drugs, my reaction to the strong drugs and the other big decision that I need to make in my care.  When I arrive my Doctor tells me that the 'Tumor Board' said that I could reduce my drug dosage of KRD "if I wanted to."   Why should anyone listen to me?  I am not the doctor, I am only the patient, capable of reporting side effects.   "I am not capable of making such decisions about my own health care but the Standard of Care doctor in New York suggested last week that we should reduce my KRD dosage, so based on his suggestion, and not mine,  I am happy that we are reducing everything. " "You understand that this lower dosage will not help your immune system," Dr. Currently tells me.  I understand that, but I am confused that you are telling me this.   "Before you had cancer your immune system was bad.  Because of your cancer ...

My father told me when I was young that the world was divided into givers and takers.  He reminded me when I was acting like a taker.   I'm sure that he had to remind me more than once.  I've always admired those who are born givers.  They get very excited to give.  They reach out and help where they see a need.  They see those needs before we do.  They seem to spend their lives looking for ways to help others.  They always give the perfect presents. You know a few of these people.  We all do.  God bless them.   Then there are the givers who give above and beyond there ability at every chance they get.  Their generosity is relentless and sweet and you just want to hug them as they always know how to make you feel special.   They fill me with admiration and awe.  They are never takers.  Then there are those magical people who always give you just the thing that you were going to get yourself.  They are though...